Hello
Many people find staying in hospital difficult.
Here at The Inpatient Pal, we want to help. This webpage is co-created by psychologists and patients, for patients.
Take a quick look at our welcome video here.
We are here to support your emotional wellbeing and coping during your hospital stay. On this webpage you will find helpful tips and suggestions all based on real patient feedback and psychological research.
Remember, you are not alone. Some of the tips come from other patients who have walked a similar path, like Conor who has this to share.
Whether you're struggling with worry, loneliness, low mood, or seeking comfort we hope you can find something useful here.
Why is being an inpatient so hard?
Let’s face it, there are many answers to this question!
Hospitals can be a scary place and the Mater Hospital is a pretty big and busy environment. Being an inpatient can cause a lot of stress because there are many things outside your control, such as:
- Separation from family & friends
- Physical examinations, investigations & medical procedures
- Loud noises, strangers & different environment to home
- Difficult conversations with medical teams
- Feeling unwell, pain, fatigue & discomfort
To help you cope, it might be important to first understand what stress is and how it impacts the body.
What happens to me when I feel afraid?
When we encounter something scary or dangerous and feel under threat, our bodies try to be helpful by engaging in a biological response known as the ‘fight or flight’ or ‘stress response’. This is the body’s natural reaction to something scary.
You might know when you are in fight or flight if you are breathing quickly, feeling dizzy, feeling hot or sweaty, having tense muscles, feeling nervous or you might notice that your heart races. This stress response can be really helpful when we have short term stressors (like jumping out of the way of a car); however, when the stress response or ‘threat-meter’ is high and constantly switched on, it can be really unhelpful for us.
What are some of the ‘threats’ in hospital?
Many things you may be facing can keep your stress response in ‘high threat’.
Some of these threats are external (outside of you) like being in a busy noisy ward with people you don’t know, or facing medical investigations and treatments. Some of the threats are internal (inside of you), like having worrying thoughts about what might happen or feeling sad, frustrated, or generally feeling unwell with pain, nausea or fatigue.
When you are an inpatient you might struggle with loss of control, fear, uncertainty or isolation, and you won’t have your typical comforts and distractions available to you.
We know we won’t be able to change all of the threats in hospital, but The Inpatient Pal is all about helping you take control of the things you can take control of.
Simply pick and choose the areas that most suit you.
This webpage is split into
- audio
- written
- video materials
By using these resources you can help to calm your stress response, and can begin to feel a little more in control. You can go straight to the tracks to help now, or if you want to read more on the science behind managing stress using compassion focused theory click here.
For when you feel overwhelmed
5,4,3,2,1, Listening Resource – click here
For when you feel frustrated or irritated
3-minute anchor space – click here
For when you want to feel safe
Soothing Rhythm Breathing Listening Resource – click here
For when you struggle with sleep.
Asleep in 10 minutes Listening Resource – click here
For when you want to relax at bedtime
Sleep and heal Listening Resource – click here
At the Inpatient Pal, the psychological tools we provide are all embedded in compassion focused theory. But what is compassion?
Compassion is about
1) noticing when we or someone else is suffering and
2) wanting to do something to help ease that suffering.
Often we find it easy to notice when someone else is suffering and we are motivated to support and help them. However, we can often struggle to give the same care, kindness and support to ourselves during moments of difficulty.
We know from our work with patients in developing The Inpatient Pal, that using self-compassion can make your hospital admission so much easier. The good news is that self-compassion is a skill we can practice and develop! Just like stretching – it might be a bit uncomfortable in the beginning, but it does get easier.
What is self-compassion?
Self-compassion involves noticing when we are suffering and wanting to do something to help ourselves. It involves treating yourself how you would treat a friend who is having a hard time.
For when you need to be your own best friend
The RAIN of Self-Compassion Listening Resource – click here
For when you need to feel soothed
Soothing Rhythm Breathing Listening Resource – click here
For when you need to prepare for a medical procedure or scan
Compassionate Colour Listening Resource – click here
Myths of Self-Compassion
Many people may think of self-compassion as self-pity, as self-indulgent or maybe even as ‘letting ourselves off the hook’.
And if you’re one of those people, then it might be helpful to see what self-compassion gives us less and more of in life.
What else can help us when we feel stressed?
We know we can’t get rid of all the threats in the hospital. But, we want to help you build your soothing system so that you can cope well with your hospital stay.
For when you need a skill to de-stress right away
Box Breathing – watch
For when you need to communicate with your team
Compassion PDA –
Patient to Patient:
These are some tips from the Patients who helped us develop this page.
Donal’s energy management tip
Spending time with loved ones can feel supportive and uplifting and it can even help activate your soothing system through connection and care. But too much interaction, especially when you're tired or unwell, can overwhelm your threat system, leaving you feeling drained or anxious. It’s okay to rest. In fact, listening to your body is a powerful way to take care of yourself. Right now, your main job is to heal. The people who truly care about you will understand that. And if someone doesn’t, it’s okay to set boundaries as protecting your energy is a form of self-compassion.
Alan’s Coffee Cup
This is Alan’s coffee cup. During his hospital stays, Alan often spent long hours alone in his room, which could easily activate his threat system, leaving him feeling low, restless, or disconnected. He found that simply going for a coffee made a real difference. It gave him something to look forward to and by doing something he enjoyed, he felt better. Along the way, he’d sometimes chat with staff or other patients, which helped soothe his system through connection and calm. This small routine brought him comfort, motivation, and a sense of achievement even on the tough days.
Rose’s top drawer
Rose shared with us how often she needed to stay in hospital, sometimes with very little warning. These sudden admissions could easily trigger her threat system bringing feelings of stress, worry, and a loss of control. Over time, Rose found a helpful way to manage this. She used her drive system to create a simple routine: she kept a drawer in her dressing table ready with everything she needed to feel more comfortable and settled during hospital stays. By having her bag prepared, she activated her soothing system too giving herself a sense of calm, safety, and control, even in uncertain moments.
Kevin’s Props
Kevin was nervous about how he would cope with a long hospital stay. His threat system was understandably active bringing worries about being away from home, feeling isolated, or losing control. To manage this, Kevin took action. He used his drive system to prepare: he did research, spoke to others who had gone through similar treatments, and gathered tips to make things easier. He learned about small comforts like using a pregnancy pillow to support his body in bed, and bone-conduction earphones that wouldn’t fall out or get lost while resting. These simple adjustments made his hospital space feel more manageable and personal. Kevin also set up a contact rota with his family and friends. This helped him stay connected and soothed his need for support without feeling overwhelmed. It gave him something to look forward to each day, while also giving him space to rest and recover.
Emma’s laptop and love of life online
Emma found her hospital stays especially difficult because her immune system was low, which meant she couldn’t have visitors. While rest is important, being cut off from family and friends made things feel lonely and sometimes even frightening. This is when Emma’s threat system was often activated, making her feel vulnerable and isolated. She used Zoom and other video calls to connect with the people she loved. These moments of connection helped soothe her system, bringing her a sense of comfort, safety, and emotional support. Staying in touch even virtually helped Emma feel less alone and more able to keep going with her treatment.
Mary often felt overwhelmed by the multiple teams, hospitals, and interventions involved in her care. At times, her body and mind were caught in a state of threat worrying about burdening others, enduring symptoms in silence, and feeling tense and uncertain. These moments left her feeling stuck and anxious, unsure how to advocate for herself. With time, Mary began to step into drive. She started noticing and naming the challenges she was experiencing, experimenting with ways to communicate her needs, and taking purposeful actions like bringing trusted people to appointments. This sense of agency allowed her to move forward, even when situations felt complex or overwhelming. Gradually, Mary also cultivated moments of soothe. A sense of safety, acceptance, and connection. She learned to acknowledge her experiences without judgment, to lean on supportive people, and to care for herself with compassion. These moments of calm helped her integrate her learning, giving her the resilience to navigate her care with steadier confidence and self-kindness.
For when you need the practical solutions
What does the hospital day look like? - Watch
Get comfortable!
Bring in some personal items.
Pack comfortable clothes, your own toiletries, a sleep mask, ear plugs, note book and familiar items like your favourite pillow or blanket to help make your hospital room feel more like home.
Decorate your space.
Decorate your space with photos of friends and family. You might like to bring a photo of your favourite place. If it’s allowed, you can also bring a small kettle or air cooler to help make your room feel more comfortable.
Items to sooth.
It might be helpful to bring in items that soothe your senses. This might include blankets and pyjamas with a comforting texture. Creams or lip balms that have your favourite scent. Or a playlist with music that calms you.
Be as active and engaged as possible!
Create a daily routine.
Set small, manageable goals each day, like making the bed or reading for 30 minutes. This can help give your day structure and it can also help you to capture small wins and to feel a sense of achievement.
Focus your attention on activities.
It can be helpful to bring in items like puzzles, reading materials that engage you or art supplies might also be helpful. If you have a personal device or TV this may also offer some well needed distraction.
Use the hospital Space.
Within the Mater Hospital there are many coffee shops, outdoor spaces and a multi-faith prayer room. If you not able to leave the ward then there are often family rooms that you can make use of and this can add some novelty to your day.
Stay connected and engaged!
Keep in touch with friends and family through calls, texts, or video chats to combat isolation.
Online educational, group or peer support.
There are many cancer charities that offer excellent information on particular cancer types and treatments. There are also many peer support groups that run online and can still be accessed during your inpatient stay.
Look after the basics
Take Movement Breaks.
Incorporate light physical activity, such as walking or chair exercises, to maintain muscle strength and balance.
Maintain a healthy diet.
Stick to a normal diet and inform your care team of any special dietary needs or accommodations. Tell family or visitors what nourishing foods can soothe you too.
Plan for rest.
Ensure you build in adequate rest and recovery time between activities, as physical and mental activities both consume energy. Taking rest is not ‘lazy’ and instead can be viewed as something you can do to help heal.
Advocate for yourself!
Communicate with the care team.
Don't hesitate to ask nurses or doctors about your treatment plan, concerns, or needs, such as noise reduction. Remember that there are no silly questions and if it is important to you, then it’s important to ask.
Assign a healthcare proxy.
Designate a trusted friend or family member to act as your healthcare proxy to communicate your preferences to the medical team if you cannot.
Write down your questions.
When we are under threat and feeling unwell it can be difficult to hold all your important questions in mind. It might be helpful to have a notebook and to write down your questions, the names of the various teams and professionals involved in your care, and what their role is and to make notes as you receive information.
Here’s the Science bit … (if you want to understand more about compassion and the threat system)
The Three Systems Model was developed by Psychologist, Paul Gilbert. It explains how our emotions come from three different parts of the brain. Understanding these systems can help you to understand the emotional ups and downs during an inpatient stay and can help you to manage stress and to be kinder to yourself during difficult times.
- The Threat System
This system is designed to keep you safe by alerting you to danger. However, when overactive, it can lead to anxiety, stress, and depression. - The Drive System
This motivates you to pursue goals and rewards. It’s linked to motivation and feelings of achievement. - The Soothing System
This system calms you down and helps you feel safe and nurtured. It is linked to feeling safe, content and connected.
By being aware of, and balancing these systems, we can develop more self-compassion treating yourself with the same care and kindness you would offer to a close friend.
Here’s a handy diagram to help you visualise these parts of the mind.
Helpful websites with longer meditations if you feel able:
https://www.compassionatemind.co.uk/resource/audio
https://self-compassion.org/self-compassion-practices/
https://www.mindfulness.ie/resource/audio-meditations
If you have any tips you'd like to share, we'd love to hear from you.
Thanks to SPARK for funding this website and thanks to our patient Emma Butler for creating the graphics, and all the patients who are our pals in creating this page.
